i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize