I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
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