he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize