There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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