It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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