sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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