HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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