the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
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She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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