So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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