You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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