and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
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