Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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