I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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