just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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