wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize