I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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