do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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