Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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