Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
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Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
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I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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