Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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