"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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