Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
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My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You ate ashes out of my bong
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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