Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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