Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
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