i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize