i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize