Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize