I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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