Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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