So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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