i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize