I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize