I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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