I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize