Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize