bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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