So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize