the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize