Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize