My dream of liquor pitchers came true
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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