apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize