I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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