if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize