Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Rumble strips road head = magical
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Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
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Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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