I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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