I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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