Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize