I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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