Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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