is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
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She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
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I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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